Job Interviews

I have been trying to find a job these last couple of months to no avail. It's a little frustrating when you go on interview after interview and end up with nothing. I want to give up but I know in the end I'll find a job if I keep on applying. *Fingers crossed. 

After my interview I decided to get something to eat with my bf. He's been driving me to my interviews since I can't drive and I wanted to treat him at least once. He's been so patient with me on my search and it means a lot to me that he is taking the time to take me. We went to a nearby ramen place and it was beyond yummy. I have been to at least 15 different ramen places in New Jersey, New York, and Japan. The ramen place which is a fusion of Japanese/Chinese cuisine called, "Rai Rai Ramen' is a 8.5/10. I'm actually surprised that I liked it so much would definitely recommend going back!

Korean bbq

Two weeks ago I tried Korean bbq for the first time with my bf and it was yummy!

They kept bringing out plate after plate. I didn't even know when it would stop and how I could possibly finish. It was such a lot of food that I recommend getting if you are super hungry. In this case  I was moderately hungry but I challenged myself to finish. Looking at this picture makes me want to go back!

Trying to cook steak?

 

        A couple of weeks ago  I tried cooking steak with my bf and that was a failure. We ended up smoking up the whole house. The steak ended up not being cooked all the way so we had to go back and finish cooking it off. If anyone has any tips on how to cook steak, feel free to leave a comment. 

In the meantime I'll keep practicing until I make the perfect steak. Ciao!

Comic

The story behind the picture: Basically after I shower I don't brush my hair so you can only imagine the tangles. And this annoys my bf so he's always offering to brush my hair because he likes to and wants it to be be nice and smooth. But I'm lazy so I leave it as is. (hehe)

Thoughts

As I write this my little sister (who is no longer 'little' because she's taller) is listening to Disney songs. I'm having another epiphany! I was walking home today and I started thinking about how I feel. I want to be happier and feel as though I am fulfilled. I'm tired (not just the regular tired) I just feel like I'm exhausted of life. I want things to go right but make bad choices. I want to be happy but I don't try to change. I want to do so many things but I don't. I'm tired of everything. Which isn't true. I'm just tired of over-analyzing things and putting myself down. I'm tired of feeling sad over things that might or might not be in my control. I just want to live. (I know, I know I am). But I just think happiness is so fleeting. I think the times I was most happiest is when I felt that I was working towards something. Maybe that's not even true. I'm not sure anymore. I do remember sometimes that I have felt sad, lonely, and lost. I wanted to just isolate myself and not talk to anyone. It also helped to fake it. To fake being a certain way and being able to just go day by day until my feelings changed. 

 But now I feel the same as before and I don't know how to get out of it. I want to be able to wake up and feel like myself again. Do I even know how that is? I don't know if I can look in the mirror and say I know who I am anymore. I don't know who is looking back. I know who I want to become. 

I want to become a success, happier, and feel stronger. 

I want to regain who I am and what I have lost.

I'm tired of feeling hopeless. I'm tired of feeling as though nothing I do is right. 

I want to become a better person for myself. I want to strive for more for myself. I want to push myself for me. I want to feel understood and loved. 

Writing this just makes me want to cry and I'm not even sure why. I don't know if its because I have come to this realization or I'm truly lost.

On a positive note, I know things will get better because I'm choosing now to stop wallowing in self-pity and do something about it. 

That's that, Ciao!

Billy Joel

This past Wednesday I was finally able to see Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden. It's been one of those things that I've been wanting to do for awhile now. I've been listening to his music for years now! In fact one of my tattoos is inspired by his song, "Vienna." His music, his songs struck such a chord within me. It brings me back to a time and a place in my life that I can think of so fondly. I am so glad I had the opportunity to go! Next, is seeing Elton John in his farewell tour. :)

Snow!

(Cheesy picture of me taken when I went skiing.) 

So I've been slacking when it comes to trying to lose weight. One day I'm all onboard and the next I'm eating like there's no tomorrow. I'm going to attempt to go to the gym and begin to eat healthy. One way or another I'm going to reach my goal. Besides that, I've been applying to jobs and (ah!) it snowed again. This weather is really fickle! I'm hoping it begins to look up so I can hit the track and run. Here's to working out and being healthy! 

Ramen and more

Here is some gratuitous food porn! I am trying to watch my weight because I managed to gain about 15 extra pounds. I've been trying to watch my portions because I really want to go back to the weight I was most comfortable in. But its hard to do so when you have all these different temptations at your disposal. I have to think of the end goal and have more discipline. How hard do you find it to not give into your desires? 

You must think that I'm a fool, You must think that I am new to this...

Images from the last time I went snowboarding. It was a disaster of sorts but I made it out alive. Triumph! I might need all the luck I can get, so wish me luck this time around. I am currently listening to Sam Smith "Too Good for Goodbyes" (Eargasm) On a side note Elton John's tickets are currently on sale (gah! Must get it before they all sell out and it's his last tour "gasp.")

I'm going to go back to listening to music and binge watch Netflix movies xD. 

Rainy Days

I' have been trying to get back into the swing of things when it comes to blogging. 

I know, I know. I always say the same thing over and over. But it's been on my mind to start. I want to get my mind off of job searching or lack thereof. You would think in a city so big that it would be easy, but it's really not. I have been getting recruiters approach me but to no avail either I blow the phone interview or they never get back to me. I'm doing something wrong or maybe it's just not meant to be. I hate that term it's so cliche but in this case I'll make the exception. 

What's going on with me?

1. Applying to places anywhere, anything, is okay with me.

2. Been thinking of picking up sewing

3. Trying to blog (going back and forth on it.)

4. Overthinking things which leads to nowhere. I need to just relax and enjoy life.

5. Trying to get back into shape because I've gained about 15 or so pounds. (Sigh) 

6. Today it rained so bad that many of the trains were delayed. I got out of work at 5 and I didn't make it back home until 7:30! Thanks NJ weather, 

That's it for now. I'm working on updating frequently. Even if it kills me. No matter how mundane!!!

Bleach

I've been trying to sketch more often because I want to be able to start my own comic. (digitally primarily) It's been a process from pencils, markers, thicker markers, and hopefully being able to buy myself (copic markers). Anyone who knows/uses these markers has a grasp on how expensive and worth it they are. The final step after that would be to start practicing on my Wacom tablet and by then have a concept/ of what I want my comic to be about. 

Sketch

I've always wanted to incorporate some type of illustration into this blog but never got around to doing it frequently. I've been trying to practice sketching more in order to somehow use my Wacom tablet. It gets difficult for me to draw on the computer without having scanned an image I drew. 

(My goal as of now is to make my own comic.) 

If possible. 

Comic Con

                  

                  

                 

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These pictures have been on my phone since October. I really wanted to post them but I had no time with school, work, and interning. Anyways, this year's con was so much fun! I was able to see a skew of people from John Krasinski, Matt Damon, the whole cast of The Walking Dead, and Rebecca Sugar. I am so ready to go next year and hopefully purchase tickets to go to San Diego Comic Con. 

The inner nerd in me would be beyond thrilled.